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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29944986">Holding Back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoveHeart/pseuds/DoveHeart'>DoveHeart</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hades (Video Game 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, M/M, Slice of Afterlife, Zagreus dies but he gets better, pets for Cerberus, tagged for violence to be safe, that sweet spot between romantic and platonic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:02:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,714</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29944986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoveHeart/pseuds/DoveHeart</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zagreus and Thanatos orbit like twin moons around all the things they won't say, each trying to provoke the other to break the stalemate. But they have a long time to play, and some games are more fun unfinished.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thanatos &amp; Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Holding Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just a little sketchy thing. I wanted to play with a style and an atmosphere. Not sure I succeeded, but it was fun to try, and I got to learn about the history of dog collars and leads. Thank you for taking a peek.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The roar of the crowd filled Elysium's scented air as Zagreus slipped out of the path of the spear and behind a pillar. The spear hung in the air at the edge of its range, glowing, and flew obediently back to Theseus's hand. Theseus was booming out some cheap threadbare line to the crowd, putting all that heroic muscle to use projecting his voice like a professional actor. Zagreus tuned him out. He'd already taken Theseus's spear once in the thigh, and though on the other side of the sand-strewn arena Asterius's fur was matted and slick with blood, the bull had managed to get in a crushing blow across Zagreus's back to repay him. He was a little past banter at this point.</p>
<p>Artemis's power whispered to him in the vibrations of his bowstring and the rattle of  his arrows. As he sighted Asterius down the shaft, the bull's great muscled shoulders heaving as though his own body was a weight he must bear, Zagreus found the perfect line of sight and was rewarded with a pulse of satisfaction so intense he almost gasped with pleasure when he loosed.</p>
<p>The arrow hit home but Asterius's hide was thick, and Zagreus had to run in a series of zig-zag bursts, threading a path by the arena walls, to foul Asterius's rage-fuelled charges. Again that buzz of pleasure as he outran the minotaur like a predator fleeing the hunter, and a further jolt of it when he pivoted on the ball of his foot, bow already in place, and the arrow flew true into that solid bull neck. Asterius sank to his knees.</p>
<p>Zagreus turned just in time to see Theseus’s spear come hurtling.</p>
<p>"Oh, f-"</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>The waters of the Styx were thick and warm. Zagreus found the submerged staircase out of the pool and breached the surface, took another first breath.</p>
<p>“I’ll slice the smile off that blowhard’s face.”</p>
<p>Shed the weightlessness of the Styx, shed its clinging waters in a trail that Dusa would have to mop off the tiles later, poor thing, if Cerberus didn’t stir himself to come and lap it up first.</p>
<p>“I’ll slice the <em>face</em> off his face.”</p>
<p>“Oh, hi!”</p>
<p>He blinked the red haze out of his eyes to see Hypnos lounging against the wall in his usual spot, waving lazily.</p>
<p>“You’re back early! Did you forget something?”</p>
<p>"Only how to dodge."</p>
<p>Hypnos laughed amiably. "Does that mean you remembered my-?"</p>
<p>"Nothing to write on in the arena, I'm afraid."</p>
<p>"Oh, I never thought of that." Hypnos bobbed thoughtfully in the air. "I could probably lend you something."</p>
<p>Zagreus made a polite noise as Hypnos rummaged in the quilted folds of his cloak, wondering how to wriggle out of this one when the air chilled. A hooded shape coalesced out of the air and spoke.</p>
<p>"Slacking again? You  really need to- oh. Zagreus." Thanatos spared Zagreus the slightest glance.</p>
<p>Zagreus pretended not to notice. "Hello, Than. Taking a break?"</p>
<p>"I suppose," he said.</p>
<p>Anyone else, Zagreus would have seen right through their little ruse, contriving to be there just as he stepped out of the pool. Where Thanatos was concerned, however, it really might have been a mistake, the trouble he’d been taking to stay out of Zagreus’s way lately. And the thought of Thanatos trying to avoid him and failing spurred at a little seam of malice in him.</p>
<p>"I'm just about to take the dog for a walk,” he said innocently. “Come with?"</p>
<p>“I was just leaving,” said Thanatos.</p>
<p>“Then Cerberus and I will walk you out.”</p>
<p>Thanatos sighed, but he didn’t blink out of existence.</p>
<p>“Have fun!” Hypnos called after them.</p>
<p>Cerberus’s tail was already wagging when Zagreus approached with the three-ended lead, all six ears pricked. Thanatos waited silently while Zagreus clipped it to each collar, probably aware of Zagreus’s sly glances back to make sure he hadn’t vanished.</p>
<p>One of Cerberus’s heads panted in excitement, and another shook itself. The third was lowered to sniff at Zagreus, nudging him almost off his feet. “You ready to go out, boy? Got to work off some of those treats you’ve been getting, haven’t we?”</p>
<p>The long tail wagged harder.</p>
<p>"Whatever's in those satyr sacks probably isn't part of a balanced diet, is it, boy?"</p>
<p>Cerberus whined in some kind of acknowledgement, and Zagreus leaned up to scratch behind one set of ears.</p>
<p>"But I can't say no to you. Come on. Let's go out."</p>
<p>Hades scoffed at his desk, bent over his interminable paperwork.</p>
<p>“I’m going out with the dog, Father,” said Zagreus, loudly and slowly. “Just letting you know so you don’t accidentally slip and have me killed again.”</p>
<p>Hades snorted. His quill scratched harder.</p>
<p>“Bye, Father!”</p>
<p>Thanatos glided quickly and silently past the desk, hood pulled high.</p>
<p>“Am I making you nervous?” Zagreus asked once they were out from under that baleful gaze.</p>
<p>Thanatos's eyes glinted at him from under his hood. “I just don’t see why you have to antagonise him.”</p>
<p>“I’m the antagonistic one? Really? Do tell.”</p>
<p>Cerberus pulled on the lead, scenting the sulphurous pits of Tartarus. Zagreus braced himself against the ground and yanked him back.</p>
<p>“As far as I’m concerned,” said Zagreus, his voice strained as Cerberus fought him, “I approached this whole thing in good faith. All he had to do was be reasonable about my - come on, boy, behave at least till we get out of the House - very reasonable request, and we’d all be a big happy family.”</p>
<p>“Just let him run, will you?” said Thanatos.</p>
<p>Zagreus smiled to himself. “No answer to that, eh? Oh well." He turned to Cerberus. "Come on, boy, I’ll throw some Numbskulls for you. Would you like that?"</p>
<p>Cerberus would like that very much. Two of his heads barked in gleeful dissonance as he pawed the ground, his tail setting the air thrumming.</p>
<p>“Let’s get you some of those bitey little bastards to chew on, shall we?”</p>
<p>He had to wrestle with the dog to get the leads off, and Cerberus thought it was all a game, rolling over and play-growling, two heads snapping and the third lolling its tongue. Zagreus scratched the dog's belly till his hind legs vibrated in ecstasy, tail sweeping so hard it rustled Thanatos’s robes where he stood at a distance, radiating disapproval.</p>
<p>Thanatos said nothing when Zagreus got up off the stone floor at last. Cerberus bounded joyfully through a doorway and shattered vases and urns with a wag of his tail, gouging clawmarks in the paving. Zagreus brushed long red dog hairs from his chiton. “Come on, Than, let me have it. I’m getting nervous.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Thanatos.</p>
<p>“You’re angry with me. I’m not blind. Let’s talk about it. Hit me if you have to. Anything but this endless brooding.”</p>
<p>“I will not hit you,” said Thanatos. “And I see no reason to have the same conversation over and over again. You know exactly how I feel and why.”</p>
<p>Zagreus supposed he did know, but today he wasn’t willing to accept the tired old excuses. So he was running like Cerberus through a potter’s shop and threatening to bring the ancient House of Hades crashing down on all their heads and Thanatos didn’t like it. So what? No house that Zagreus could bring down so easily could ever have stood for this long, nor would it deserve to. “Is it because I keep dying without you?” he asked, teasing. "Are you jealous?"</p>
<p>“Zagreus.”</p>
<p>They came to a chamber filthy with golden skulls patrolling the edges of their territories like houseflies, looking for something to chew on. Cerberus scattered and shattered bones beneath his paws. Good riddance. There were always more of the wretched things waiting to spawn. Zagreus had let one of them take the final bite out of him once before, and the indignity had been too much to bear. He strayed just into range of one, waited for the Numbskull to sight him and charge. At the last second, his hand shot out, fingers hooked through its eyeholes and its jaw chattering futilely at the air.</p>
<p>“You know, Than, if you want me to die in your jurisdiction you’re just going to have to take matters into your own hands.” He hurled the skull and Cerberus yelped in delight, leaping to catch it.</p>
<p>Thanatos’s tone was sharp. “Zagreus, don’t be vulgar.”</p>
<p>Zagreus grinned. “What? I know you can hear me when I call out piteously for your mercy with my dying breath in the various levels of the labyrinth, that's all. And you never come.”</p>
<p>“I have a job to do.”</p>
<p>“And what did <em>you</em> think I meant, anyway?”</p>
<p>Thanatos ignored him. “What would you do if I did come? If I helped you. If you got out. If you lived the longest mortal life and died an old man in your bed. If I personally took you and escorted you back to the House. Then what? You do it all again?”</p>
<p>Zagreus barked a laugh. “Yes! Exactly! That’s the point!”</p>
<p>“You take it too lightly.”</p>
<p>“And what in all the world could be lighter? Ask your little butterfly friends about lightness."</p>
<p>“You frighten me,” said Thanatos.</p>
<p>Zagreus caught another Numbskull with practised reflexes, spun slow and heavy like a discus thrower and let it go soaring back the way it came to be crunched by Cerberus. One of the dog's other heads growled and snapped, obviously feeling left out. “Don’t flatter me, Than.”</p>
<p>“I’m not.”</p>
<p>“And what are you so afraid of?” A badly-thrown Numbskull shattered against a pillar, and Zagreus cringed away from flying teeth and bone fragments. “It can’t be my aim.”</p>
<p>“Your tenacity,” said Thanatos.</p>
<p>Zagreus paused, unguarded, and met Thanatos’s eyes. Thanatos held his gaze steadily, moving only to lift his scythe and slice a Numbskull out of the air as it came gnashing towards Zagreus’s head. Zagreus half-frowned. “Than,” he said, softly.</p>
<p>Thanatos blinked slowly, wreathed in his silence.</p>
<p>Cerberus came loping back with a Wringer in one dripping mouth, looking immensely pleased with himself. His teeth grated on the thing's shackle, and its fingers groped furiously for something to hold on to, but both other heads were well out of reach.</p>
<p>Zagreus blinked. "Now where did you get-? No, no, don't drop it, Cerberus, no!"</p>
<p>Thanatos slammed his sword point-first into a chink between the flagstones, the Wringer's chain caught neatly by a link on the blade.</p>
<p>Zagreus kicked the grasping fingers away from his shins, and shot a sly look at Thanatos. "My tenacity?"</p>
<p>"Did I say something funny?" Thanatos asked dryly.</p>
<p>“My tenacity?" Zagreus repeated. "Can you hear yourself? Blood and darkness, Than.” He laughed so loudly one of Cerberus's heads growled at him. "I will say, though, you almost had me."</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Thanatos knew he was late when he materialised in the scorched hellscapes of the Asphodel meadows, but work had kept him busy. He’d come as soon as he could.</p>
<p>“Than?” Zagreus’s voice was a ragged gasp.</p>
<p>Thanatos never rushed. Thanatos was never lost. If it took him a second more to locate Zagreus, if he hesitated a moment, there was nobody left to see. The shades and monsters had all been beaten back into the ground. The air shivered around him as he walked.</p>
<p>Zagreus was pale even in the heat, streaked with soot. He held a blood-slick arm awkwardly pressed to his stomach, where it did little to staunch his bleeding. “Than, you…” He swayed.</p>
<p>Thanatos watched him.</p>
<p>Zagreus staggered, fell back against an obsidian stalagmite with a low cry of pain and sank to his knees. Each breath was dragged out of him. It sounded like it hurt. It looked like it hurt.</p>
<p>Thanatos waited.</p>
<p>“You’re...late. I already…won...the game.” Zagreus broke off to pant for breath, red sparks in his eye as he focused on Thanatos through the heat haze.</p>
<p>“I can see that,” said Thanatos.</p>
<p>Zagreus coughed, winced. “Still time to add...one to your tally.”</p>
<p>“No,” said Thanatos.</p>
<p>It wouldn’t be long now. The pulse at Zagreus’s throat was barely visible. But he kept on breathing. In and out, harsh and loud, ugly and useless. Over and over. The seconds crawled by and Zagreus's heart kept beating, weakly and erratically, but nevertheless. It pulled at Thanatos, throbbed in the blade of his scythe, the blade of his sword, the tips of his fingers.</p>
<p>Thanatos crouched by him. “Zagreus,” he said, exasperated. “Let. Go.”</p>
<p>Zagreus grinned, bloodstained and contrary. “No.”</p>
<p>The magma rivers flowed sluggishly, releasing slow bubbles and the shimmer of desperate shades reaching for land. The rocks creaked and settled. <em>Why do this?</em> thought Thanatos. <em>If you're only going to try again anyway, why fight it now?</em> Zagreus wouldn't have been able to answer even if Thanatos had been able to ask.</p>
<p>The line was crossed. Thanatos couldn't bear any more. He reached out just as Zagreus’s back arched convulsively and he choked on his last breath, as his heart stuttered and the waters of the Styx seeped up warm from their omnipresent aquifer. Thanatos was left alone, viscous red liquid staining his outstretched fingers, unable to tell whether in the end Zagreus had succumbed to his injuries or to him.</p>
<p>He stood again, and his cloak hung heavy on his shoulders. "Almost got me," he said.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Zagreus shook Styx-water from his hair back in the House. <em>Next time</em>, he promised himself.</p>
<p>He walked through the queue of shades, and Hypnos almost dropped his list in his haste to look busy at his approach.</p>
<p>"Oh, hi! Wasn't expecting you! I mean, we expect everyone, but you never know when the time will come, know what I mean?"</p>
<p>"Indeed," said Zagreus. "What was it this time, then?"</p>
<p>“Weren’t you there?”</p>
<p>“Just wondering if you’ve any advice for me in future.”</p>
<p>Hypnos fumbled with his papers, stifling a yawn. "Mm, let me… Oh." He glanced at Zagreus warily.</p>
<p>Zagreus only smiled. "That bad?"</p>
<p>"Oof," said Hypnos.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>He almost missed Thanatos in the House, skulking in a cold green haze among the vases on their plinths as Dusa dusted them, trying to make conversation.</p>
<p>“Do you ever wonder who made these?” she asked.</p>
<p>Thanatos glided to another, casting a pale gleam across a glazed surface. “I never have.”</p>
<p>“I mean, I never thought he was much of an art appreciator, but now I think about it, there’s actually a lot of art in the House? I’ve swept those mosaics so often you’d think I’d have noticed, huh. Oh, um, could you just?”</p>
<p>Thanatos twitched a corner of his cloak out of the way, and the feather duster swished and flittered around him.</p>
<p>“I’ve never seen him looking at any of it though. Do you think he’d mind if I put something in them?”</p>
<p>“Like what?” asked Thanatos.</p>
<p>He caught Zagreus’s eye in the reflection of a gilded vase.</p>
<p>Zagreus winked.</p>
<p>“Well, there are no flowers around here, but I could always use them to keep the brooms in. Or my dusters! They could look pretty nice actually, I think, if I arranged them, with all the feathers…”</p>
<p>Zagreus stepped out of the shadows. “I think it would look lovely, Dusa.”</p>
<p>"Oh, Prince!"</p>
<p>“Well, Zagreus thinks it would be a good idea, which means you’d probably lose your job,” said Thanatos.</p>
<p>“Ouch.”</p>
<p>Dusa laughed awkwardly. Her snake busied itself with the dusting and pretended not to be eavesdropping.</p>
<p>“Just came to say goodbye to you, Dusa,” Zagreus continued blithely.</p>
<p>The snake turned to look at him, disappointed.</p>
<p>“Oh, are you going again?” Dusa asked. “Already?”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid so.”</p>
<p>Thanatos watched and waited in pointed silence, and Zagreus let him stew for a bit, turned as though to walk away.</p>
<p>Maybe it would have been more fun if Thanatos would ever show his emotions on his face, or make the slightest sound, but Zagreus was used to making the best of what he was given.</p>
<p>“Oh,” he said at last, “Before I forget. Than, I'll see you later. We’ll split something in the lounge, shall we?”</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>Maybe this time he’d gone too far.</p>
<p>He was just about to turn and see what he’d done when Thanatos answered.</p>
<p>“I’ll be there, Zag.”</p>
<p>Zagreus smiled unseen. <em>Almost got me that time.</em></p>
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